In my last blog, I talked about the wrongful assumption that VAs are “snitches” or floor police or whatever you’d like to call them. And hopefully, I proved to you that we hardly fit that description. Now, in this blog, I’d like to talk about a few other misconceptions that VAs come up against.
One easy assumption to make is that VAs need to be outgoing, loud extroverts who are ready to break out into the Augie fight song at any time.
There’s nothing wrong with VAs who are like that, but it isn’t a requirement.
Before I became a VA, calling myself ‘outgoing’ would have made me laugh because I was intensely shy and had no interest in talking in front of large groups of people. When I applied to be a VA, I didn’t realize how much of my job would involve being extroverted. I thought I could get away with making a bunch of close, personal connections with my residents.
Then I went through VA training, and as I like to say jokingly: VA training will beat the introvert right out of you.
Being reserved and quiet during the training sessions just doesn’t work. You can’t get away with it.
I’ve led student panels, acted out possible resident encounters, danced in front of not only the entire VA staff but also the entire freshman class, done an extraordinary number of embarrassing icebreakers and revealed my deep dark secrets through the infamous game ‘Keep It Real.’
Honestly, by the time VA training was over, I felt like a new person. One who could hold a floor meeting on my residents’ first day of college, one who could confront a group of intoxicated football players, one who could simply tell someone to quiet down in the hall.
However, that doesn’t mean those things are easy for me. I’m an introvert through and through, and being a VA doesn’t give you much time to yourself.
But being an introverted VA, as contradictory as that may sound, is a great thing. I see it as a gift for the residents who are also introverted and reserved. It’s easy to be intimidated by someone who not only has authority over you but is yelling down the hallway at you every chance they get.
I feel that, as an introvert, I’m able to better connect to my residents because I love taking the time to actually listen to them and remind them that I’m here to help, not to judge or punish.
Additionally, VAs don’t function alone. We work together in teams, and having all extroverted individuals on one team is a recipe for a lot of conflict. Having a mix of personalities and leadership styles allows us to function as a cohesive team who can better serve its residents.
Another misconception that VAs face is that we must be aggressive and confrontational. If you know me, even just a little bit, you know that is so far from who I am as a person.
And again, there’s nothing wrong with VAs who are like that, but it’s not part of the criteria.
The two years I’ve been a VA, I’ve been an upperclassman, but I look like a freshman. So, knocking on the door of a room I know is filled with students partying who are physically bigger than me is not my cup of tea. Honestly, if I had the choice, I’d rather just pretend nothing was happening because confrontation is probably the thing I’m worst at.
However, a huge part of being a VA is working through situations that you don’t feel at all qualified to handle. (My strategy is to fake it until I make it.)
And I am not at all scary or intimidating.
But have I busted many parties of freshmen who tried to tower over me? Yes.
Have I told groups to quiet down even though I know the look I’m going to get? Yes.
Have I made residents dump out their almost-full bottles of alcohol because that’s the policy? Yes.
Have I written people up who committed policy violations? Yes.
Yes, I’ve done all of that, but I’m still not confrontational or aggressive. I just worked through it in the moment and used my best judgement to keep all residents safe.
The reason I think that debunking these myths about what VAs should be like or how they should act is important is because I want the introverts, the quiet ones, the scared ones out there to know that this job isn’t just for the outspoken.
It’s for those who want to make a difference on campus in a real and tangible way. It’s for those who want to build strong relationships and wonderful friendships.
You don’t have to fit into a certain category to be a VA; you just have to want it.
Keeley Ehrmantraut 